"But I Don't WANT to Get Married"

Jacob told his mommy he wanted to talk to MeeMaw. “MeeMaw’s not home”, she told him. He wanted to know where his MeeMaw was. (MeeMaws are not supposed to leave the house to do mundane things like go to work with the only exception being when they are on the way to pick up grandchildren or buy presents. Everybody knows that.)

“MeeMaw is out buying a present!” mommy told him.

“A present? Why MeeMaw buying a present?” asked Jake. The only possible answer would be that MeeMaw is out buying a present for him.

“Because we’re going to a party tomorrow, and we have to bring presents!” answered mommy.

Jacob was still puzzled. “MeeMaw going to party too? She bring presents for me?”

Mommy explained that we were going to bring presents for the people that were getting married tomorrow, at which point Jacob started crying inconsolably.

“Jacob, what is wrong with you?”

“But I don’t WANT to get married!” wailed Jacob.

Jacob called later and told me that he wanted new shoes with lights that flash.

“So you want me to get you flashing shoes, is that right?”

“Yes! And MeeMaw, I going to stay with Poppa, and we eat ice cream and cookies, okay? We not go to party, okay?”

Three years old, and ready to be a committed bachelor just like his Poppa.